Rob AriasWith a ceremonial flush, the Portland Loo at Huchiun Park was officially anointed at a special ceremony today. Yes, Emeryville’s latest public “John” is now officially named after none other than councilmember John Bauters.
“Do NOT go in there!“ Bauters quipped while making a gesture simulating wafting the stench. Bauters then exited the stall before taking the podium in front of a crowd of supporters and onlookers. “I love you all so much!” Bauters spoke to the crowd while choking back tears. “To be immortalized in this way is *sniff* the honor of a lifetime!”
“To be immortalized in this way is *sniff* the honor of a lifetime!”
Emeryville Councilmember John Bauters
It’s befitting for Bauters, whose Emeryville political career began by “flushing” a dog park that the community had worked years to gain approval on before having the rug pulled out from under them.
Mayor Courtney Welch proceeded to read a proclamation officially declaring the restroom “The John Bauters Loo.”
“Whereas this public restroom facility at Huchiun park shall from this point forward honor councilmember John J. Bauters, acknowledging his tireless commitment to ensuring that the residents and visitors of Emeryville always have a place to go when ‘nature calls.’ ”
The naming acknowledges perhaps Bauters’ greatest accomplishment in his nearly eight years on city council: Helping bring the sturdy Portland Loo to Emeryville parks. Bauters was instrumental in selecting the brand of public toilets for the Joseph Emery Skate Park when it opened in 2016.
Bauters political career within Emeryville is likely coming to end as he pursues his dream of becoming a full-time, career politician. Bauters will face off with Oakland Councilmember Nikki Fortunato Bas in November’s Alameda County Board of Supervisors District 5 race and will not be able to concurrently seek another Emeryville City council term.
Bauters declared his candidacy for County Supervisor back in December stating that the Emeryville he personally built was complete and could not be improved upon.
“Small business is booming, every road is safe for cycling, housing is affordable to all and crime is down all because of me and my policies,” declared Bauters. “That’s why it’s time for me to move on. There’s literally nowhere for Emeryville to go but down!”
Previously ridiculed for denigrating founder Joseph S. Emery’s accomplishments, Bauters doubled down on his posthumous criticism.
“Joseph Emery? meh. It’s not even close if you think about it,” Bauters elaborated. “How many plaques are there with his name on it around the city and how many with mine? At some point you have to point to the scoreboard.”
Next to take the podium was Bauters “frenemy” Dianne Martinez who served alongside him from 2016-2022. “Thank you John!” a tearful Martinez spoke, her voice quivering. “I’m going to think of you every time I use it!”
“Can you Hurry up?,” an unidentified unhoused man yelled shuffling around the small crowd. “I gotta drop a Bauters!”
Oh, and in case it wasn’t obvious, APRIL FOOLS!
I was so hoping this wasn’t an April Fool’s joke! 😂
Yes it is! April Fools! Rob, and the Eville Eye, does it every April Fools Day and it’s wonderful! Jolly good, Rob!! Keep on keeping on…!
Perfect A.F. story because it’s so believable!
Hilarious!
Hilarious! So, who will he install as his replacement. His ally/frenemy, Diane Martinez or his BPAC buddy on the Planning Commission, Jordan Wax or both?
This is so real it is scary.